


And That Makes Ten

by edsheeran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Guilt, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Suicide and Depression, Minor Character Death, all of these characters are silly, and now for the serious stuff, college reunion weekend, harry and louis are the dream team, liam and zayn are a power couple, louis sings randomly, of course they need to figure some things out first, this takes place in a beach house, tons of comedic relief, zayn is nialls number one fan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7504077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edsheeran/pseuds/edsheeran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To goodbyes,<br/>may they never be spoken<br/>To friendships,<br/>may they never be broken</p><p>Or the one where these friends reunite for their annual beach house trip and where Harry thinks too much, Louis wants to fix things, and their friends just want them to be happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And That Makes Ten

**Author's Note:**

> the idea for this fic sparked from a weekend on the beach, a past job, an unforgettable experience, and the song Wants What It Wants (hushed) by Andrew Belle

THURSDAY

It wasn’t that Harry couldn’t drive himself, but he had a feeling he would not have made it if went alone. He was sure he’d turn his car around and retreat back home where he didn’t have to be reminded of it all. He was sure he’d make up some lame excuse for why he couldn’t make it this year, but it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of them. And it definitely wouldn’t be fair to the person who was the reason why they did this every year.

“Harry, for the love of God, will you please change this song?” Wendy asked from the backseat. “We’ve been in this car too long to listen to whatever sappy shit this is.”

Niall snorted from the driver’s seat. “Y’know, I’m sure there were nicer ways to ask that.”

Wendy leaned back in the seat. “Who says I’m nice?”

“And here we go,” Harry mumbled to himself. And then clearly, he said, “Yes, I’ll change the song.” He picked up his phone and switched playlists. Something upbeat began playing and Harry turned around to look at Wendy. “Better?”

She nodded. “Much.” Tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, she glanced out the window and asked, “We’re close, right?”

“You’d think you would know since we’ve been doing this for the past six years.” Niall replied. He quickly looked at the GPS and saw they were about ten minutes out. “Can one of you call Liam? I always get lost once we get into the neighborhood with all the stupid turns.”

“Yes, because it’s the turns that are stupid.”

Harry shook his head. In university, Niall and Wendy always clashed, yet they were such great friends. It didn’t make sense in the least, but they had a way of being there for each other even after all this time. All of them had managed to keep in touch in one way or another. Well, almost all of them.

“Hello?” Liam’s voice rang from Wendy’s speaker phone. “You guys here?”

“Almost,” Wendy answered. “Niall’s trying not to get us lost this year.”

Niall grunted. “It’s not me. It’s the turns. Harry, tell her!”

Harry shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He did, but he rather encourage Wendy at the moment because it wouldn’t be a solid argument. They were minutes away from Liam’s family’s beach house, and the view itself would shut anyone up.

“It’s simple,” Liam said, “make the first left and then go around the street. Make another left at Seahorse Drive. Go all the way down and then make a right. You can’t miss it.”

“Liam, he’s missed it every time for as long as we’ve done this,” Wendy pointed out.

Niall put on his blinker and stopped at the light. “Oi, why don’t you ever drive then?”

Harry took the phone out of Wendy’s hand in an effort to be the peacemaker. “Thanks, Liam. We’ll try to get there in one piece. I’ll call if we get lost.”

“Alright. See you guys soon.” With that, Liam ended the call and Harry gave Wendy her phone back.

“Left, left, right. You got it?” Harry asked Niall.

“Of course.”

“We’ll see about that,” Wendy said, skeptical.

Their travel time might have increased by a few minutes because Niall might have gone left, right, right, but despite that, they finally made it. There was only one other car in the driveway, so they assumed only Liam and Zayn were there and the rest were on their way.

Although everyone was capable of getting situated by themselves as nothing had changed in the house, Liam and Zayn immediately went into power couple hosts. Zayn asked them if they were hungry and what they wanted to drink while pointing out the counter that was filled with various kinds of alcohol. Liam asked them if they wanted to be shown which rooms they were staying in even though the rooms were labeled with their names on the doors.

As Liam and Zayn buzzed around them, Harry just smiled. This couple was the one he loved and envied at the same time. It felt like they were together forever and he could only wish to have a love so pure and so great. He still remembered how he cried at their wedding because of how much he longed for what they had. Liam and Zayn were Harry’s definition of relationship goals and that had yet to change.

The two of them had met at the beginning of university and by the end of their first year, their friendship blossomed into dating, and the summer after graduating, they got married. They had been together for nine years and it was amazing to see how much they had accomplished together. They were the ones who started the campaign to bring gender-neutral housing into their university. They were the ones who started a successful consulting company at age 22. They were the ones who helped Harry believe in himself and be proud of himself.

“I’ll start with a pint,” Niall requested.

“Rum and coke for me,” Wendy said.

Zayn nodded. “Harry?”

“Um, surprise me?” Harry knew there were endless possibilities and he couldn’t decide at the moment. He was a bit stuck on the fact that no one had called him out on his previous absences yet. He was a bit stuck on the fact that this trip, this reunion, this weekend all started because they lost one of their own and none of them were over it.

Leaving their bags by the front door, everyone followed Zayn to the kitchen. He began taking out glasses while Liam started pouring various snacks into bowls.

“Please, help yourself,” Liam said. “There’s plenty of food. Probably more than we actually need.”

Everyone grabbed a cup and a bowl, and they headed to the dining room where they all took a seat at the round table. It didn’t take long for snacks to get passed around for them to start catching up.

“How the business going?” Harry questioned. “I think I saw something about how much you guys love your staff on Facebook or something.”

Zayn laughed. “That was posted by Liam, the forever sap.”

“Oh shut up. You love me,” Liam responded. He took a sip of his drink. “But yeah, our staff is great. They’re all so dedicated and wonderful. We’re still growing and improving, and we wouldn’t be able to do it if everyone wasn’t on board.”

“Am I going crazy or are Liam’s eyes actually twinkling?” Wendy asked.

“There’s always twinkles in Liam’s eyes.” Zayn placed his arm around Liam’s shoulders. “At least there is whenever I look into them.”

Niall made a gagging sound. “Ugh, gross. Cut it out. I’m trying to drink here.” Just as he said that, the doorbell rang. “Oh, thank fuck.” He scooted his chair back and went to go answer it. “Ladies,” he greeted as soon as the door opened.

“Married!” Caroline stuck her left hand in Niall’s face as she stepped inside.

“Who the fuck you calling a lady?” a voice called from the back of the group.

“Tommo!” Niall pulled Louis into a hug as soon as he could reach him. “I thought you weren’t gonna make it this year.”

Louis pulled away from Niall before he suffocated him. “I thought so, too, but it worked out.”

Niall led the newest arrivals over to the table. “Look who I found.”

Liam, Zayn and Wendy stood up to greet Louis, Caroline, Val, and Anna. But Harry was frozen in his seat. He knew he should say hello to his old friends and coworkers. He knew he shouldn’t come off as an asshole. He knew he should do something considering he hadn’t seen the majority of these people in years.

It sounded like everyone was talking at once and the voices just kept getting louder and louder. Harry’s hand was gripping his drink and he was trying to figure out how he could make a break for it without anyone noticing. He was going to make a quiet getaway, he was, but then he couldn’t.

He couldn’t because Louis stood across from him at the table and gave him a look that Harry couldn’t quite describe, yet it spoke a thousand words. And to make it easy of what those thousands words were, Louis said, “Oh, look who actually decided to grant us with his presence this year.”

The coldness of his tone fueled Harry to stand up and run for the stairs. Of course, this was something that caught everyone’s attention. Of course, it was only a matter of time before someone followed him upstairs to check on him. And of course, he was finally called out for not attending previously.

Anna shoved Louis’ shoulder. “Why’d you have to go do that for?”

“Yeah,” Liam agreed. “That was harsh.”

Louis looked at his friends in disbelief. “Unbelievable. You guys to do remember how he didn’t show up the past two years, right? You do remember why we come here every year, right?”

“That doesn’t give you a right to be an asshole,” Wendy stated.

Caroline adjusted her bag on her shoulder. “I’m gonna go check on my Co. Try not to kill each other down here, alright?”

Upstairs, Harry sat on the edge of the bed of the room that was assigned to him. Part of him was glad Liam gave him a single room, so he wouldn’t have to share with anyone else. He knew he needed a place to escape for times like this one.

“Harry?” Caroline slowly pushed the door open. “Hey, you okay?”

“Care, just… um. I’m fine. You should go back downstairs,” he offered. He didn’t want to ruin anyone’s weekend.

Caroline sat next to Harry. “And leave my Co when he’s in need? What kind of person do you take me for?”

Harry chuckled. “I can’t believe you still call me that.”

“Once a Co, always a Co,” she replied.

When they were in university, the nine of them were Resident Assistants in the same housing complex. Liam and Anna were on the first floor, Zayn and Val on the second floor, Harry and Caroline on the third, Niall and Wendy on the fourth, and Louis was on the fifth as he was the Senior Resident Assistant.

Anytime they would gather and wanted to make sure everyone was there, they would yell out, “Find your Co!” If everyone could locate their Co-Resident Assistant, or Co-RA, then they knew that no one was missing. Their Hall Director randomly placed them together, and somehow their bond stuck despite how many years it had been.

“Once a Co, always a Co,” Harry repeated.

“Yup, now give me a hug and let’s see if that makes me forgive you for not coming here the last two years and well, y’know, missing my wedding.”

Harry’s face dropped. “Caroline, oh my God, I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve been there and I get if you hate me forever because I wasn’t there and I’m the worst Co. How can you even stand me?”

Caroline snorted and pulled Harry into a hug. “You worry too much, you know that? You worried back in university for the hopeless uni kids and now you’re worrying about this.” She moved back, so she could look at Harry. “I know why you couldn’t make it, Harry, and I’m not mad. I am sad you weren’t there, but I’m so glad you are here. I missed you, you goof.”

“And I missed you, too.” Harry gave her another hug. “Caroline Rose, you are too good for this world.”

“That’s Caroline Rose-Kumar to you,” she said as she pointed at her ring.

“Oh, you know what they say about girls with hyphenated last names, right?”

“What’s that?”

“They’re trouble.”

Caroline rolled her eyes. “Shut up and get your arse downstairs. I’m sure I’m not the only one who missed you.” She stood up and offered her hand to Harry.

He took her hand and pulled himself to his feet. “Do they know?” Harry asked suddenly. “Why I wasn’t here last year?”

“No,” she shook her head. “At least, I didn’t tell them. It’s not my place.”

“I—” Harry sighed. “Thank you.”

She gave him a soft smile. “C’mon, let’s go do what people do at reunions.”

Sometimes, Harry did not believe that the Co’s they got were completely random. Maybe their Hall Director pulled their names out a hat. Maybe it was a weird twist of fate. Maybe it was meant to be. Whatever the reason, Harry knew there was a solid one for why they were all put together six years ago. They became a family and yes, they’ve all made mistakes, but the fact that they still reunite every year meant that they still cared for each other.

At least, Harry hoped they did. He knew the rest of the group wanted answers for his absences and he knew he would have to tell them eventually, but he didn’t want to bring up the past. He didn’t want to revisit what the felt and what he did. He was in a better place now and he was still working on himself.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

Once everyone was downstairs and sitting around the table, Harry let himself relax. Thankfully, no one said anything about Louis’ comment or asked if Harry was okay. They let the subject drop and Harry remembered why he loved these people.

“Liam, do you think your family is ever gonna redecorate this place?” Val asked before she dipped her chip in salsa.

Liam let his eyes wander around the walls, thinking about all the memories that took place in this house. “Nah, I think redecorating would disturb all the good times.”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed. “I can think of a couple.”

Niall threw one of his Cheetos at them. “Don’t you dare get all lovey and gross right now. I’m not drunk enough for that.”

Louis tapped his fingers on the table. “Why are you so bitter about love, Nialler?” he questioned. “Who hurt you to make you feel this way?”

“Well, her name was Lauren.” Niall looked down to avoid meeting anyone’s eyes. “No matter what I did, she never gave me time of day. It was in Year 8 and I guess I just never recovered.”

Anna snorted. “Niall, seriously?” He looked up and he was biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing. “You’re full of bullshit.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t worry, Niall, you’ll always have Wendy!” Louis said.

Val clinked her glass with Louis’. “Yeah, just marry Wendy and call it a day.”

Wendy looked horrified. “Excuse me, do I not have a say in this?” She paused for only a second before composing her face and saying, “Wait, don’t answer that. How about this? If you don’t get married in three years, we will.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Niall spit into his hand and extended it towards Wendy. “Shake on it?”

“Always.” Wendy spit into her hand and shook Niall’s hand. “It’s a deal.”

Now it was Zayn who looked horrified. “Ugh, gross.”

“What?” Harry asked. “The spitting or the deal?”

“Both,” he and Liam answered together.

Caroline chuckled. “Some things never change.” She stood up. “I’m gonna get a refill. Does anyone want anything?”

Val asked for another pint, Anna asked for a glass of water, and Niall asked for more salsa. Louis, on the other hand, stood up with Caroline and offered to help her.

As soon as they were in the kitchen, he asked, “Is Harry okay?”

“You should ask him that yourself.” She opened the fridge and pulled out the water pitcher.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” Louis admitted.

Caroline closed the fridge door. “And do you blame him for that? You haven’t exactly been there for him recently.”

Louis frowned. “I know. I just—I dunno. I never thought it would be like this. He was my best friend in uni and now, it’s like I don’t even know him.”

“Then fix it,” she replied. “If you care so much, do something about it. But when you do, don’t be so rude. There’s a lot you don’t know and it’s not my job to tell you.” She picks up the salsa in one hand with a cup of water in the other. “Can you grab a pint for me and Val? Thanks.” Caroline didn’t give Louis the opportunity to say anything else before she returned to the dining room.

He stood there for a moment longer wondering what he didn’t know about Harry and wondering how he could fix things with him. These wonders stayed with him for the rest of the night because he didn’t want such a great friendship to be like this. He wanted his best friend back. He wanted Harry back.

As soon as Louis stepped back into the other room, everyone was getting to their feet. He raised his brow and asked, “Where we going?”

“To the patio,” Wendy answered. “The weather is perfect right now.”

He nodded. “Brilliant.” He handed Caroline and Val their drinks before picking up his cup from the table and following everyone out.

Wendy was right, the weather was perfect. There was a slight breeze and the sound of the waves were extremely soothing. Everyone relaxed into the various chairs on the patio and looked out into water.

Harry sat next to Caroline and whispered, “Did Louis say anything to you?”

Caroline sighed. “Harry, I’m not doing this. I’m not going to play messenger between you two. You’re grown adults. Just talk to each other.”

“So he did say something,” he concluded.

She gave him a blank stare. “Harry, I swear to God.”

Wendy scooted her chair over towards them. “What’re we whispering about over here?”

“Did someone say whispering?” Niall just about yelled from the other side of Wendy, which caused everyone’s heads to turn their way. “We don’t whisper here.”

Harry groaned. “I hate all of you.”

“You love us,” they all chimed back.

“Yeah, yeah.” He took a sip of his drink and looked up at the sky. The weather was nice, but the sky was cloudy and they could barely see the stars.

Despite the obvious fact that Harry and Caroline were talking about something they didn’t want the group to know, no one else said anything to push them to spill. As much as they did know about each other, they didn’t know everything and that was okay. There were some things that weren’t their business and they knew each other long enough to know when to butt in and when to step out. Harry appreciated his friends a lot and he was glad they were able to tell when to leave him alone.

Honestly, Harry felt a sense of comfort sitting amongst this group of people. Their last year of university was filled with the stress of trying to figure out what to do after graduation and none of them knew where they would be, and that was okay. They all grew together and they had each other to remind them that they weren’t alone in trying to figure out how to adult. Now, they were twenty-six and twenty-seven and they mostly had everything figured out, but there were still some things they needed to work through.

For Liam and Zayn, they were trying to figure out how to expand their business and how much they wanted to risk. For Niall, he was trying to figure out if he should try to find someone and settle down. For Wendy, she was trying to figure out if she should accept the transfer to New York or not. For Anna, she was trying to figure out how to plan a wedding and if she should just elope with her fiancé. For Val, she was trying to figure out if it was too late to change careers as she didn’t enjoy working in Marketing as she thought she did. For Caroline, she was trying to figure out if she was ready to be a mom and if her husband was ready to be a dad. For Louis, he was trying to figure out how to fix things with Harry and how to make up for lost time. And for Harry, he was trying to figure out how to happily live his life and what he should actually do with his life.

The nine of them were all over the place, but they knew they had each other to lean on as they figured it out.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

When Harry stepped into his room after taking a shower, he found Louis sitting on the bed. They haven’t said a word to each other since Louis’ snarky comment. In fact, they’ve barely looked at each other all night. Harry should have expected something like this, but he didn’t think Louis would have ambushed him in his room.

It was then that Harry was aware that he only had a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was dripping onto his shoulders and chest. He should say something, probably ask why Louis was in there and if he could kindly leave.

Louis stood up and moved his fringe out of his face. “Right. I should’ve thought this one out better,” he said gesturing towards Harry. “Um, I’ll let you get dressed.” He started walking towards the door, but stopped abruptly when Harry finally said something.

“What d’you want?”

His voice was more questioning than harsh. Harry blinked right after the words left his mouth like he wasn’t sure how the sound came out. Louis, on the other hand, was relieved that Harry spoke to him.

“Originally, I thought I wasn’t going to make it this year,” Louis answered, carefully. “And it was very last minute that I found out that I could. Now that I’m thinking about it, I should’ve told Liam because he obviously didn’t factor me into the room assignments.”

Harry thought about how each room was labeled with their names—Liam and Zayn in a single, Wendy and Caroline in a double, Anna and Val in a double, Niall in a single, and Harry in a single. It was then that Harry realized what Louis was about to ask him.

“I was gonna camp out with Niall, but front past experience,” Louis made a face of disgust, “Niall farts in his sleep. Then I was gonna ask either Wendy and Caroline or Anna and Val if they wanted to switch rooms with Niall, but they all turned me down. Especially Niall.” He sighed. “So would it be horrible to share a room with me?”

“Um.” Harry looked around the room—his unopened suitcase on the floor, the bed that was still made, the random lava lamp on the bedside table—and made his decision. He stepped towards his suitcase and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. Then he grabbed his phone and turned back around. “Just,” he said as he picked up one of the pillows from the bed, “stay here. It’s fine. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“What? Harry, no. Don’t do that.” Louis tried to meet Harry’s eyes, but he wouldn’t look at him. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No,” Harry shouted. He closed his eyes and took a breath. “No,” he said again, this time calmly. “I—” He sighed. It was late and he was tired, and he just wanted to go to sleep. Without another word, Harry held the items against his chest and left the room.

He stopped by the bathroom to hang the towel up and get dressed. He caught his reflection in the mirror and saw that he looked like a deer caught in headlights. As unexpected as it was for Louis to ask him to share a room, the two of them were best friends once upon a time and they might have had a falling out, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends again.

Harry shook his head. He shouldn’t think like that because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. There was a reason why they weren’t friends anymore and maybe it was for the best. It wasn’t until a couple of years after they graduated that Harry realized that he had a huge crush on Louis. It just hit him one day and suddenly it all made sense for why he was so drawn to Louis all the time. At first, he wanted to bury it because he didn’t want to mess up their friendship. Then, he thought maybe he’d go for it, but by the time he built up the nerve, Louis announced he was seeing Jonathan and well, everything went to shit after that.

It was clear that Jonathan didn’t understand Harry and Louis’ friendship, which was understandable considering they were pretty much joined at the hip most of the time. And it was clear that Jonathan was blatantly jealous of Harry and thought he was trying to steal Louis away. Despite all of that, Louis tried to balance both of them for as long as he could, but then it seemed like he just stopped trying and his friendship with Harry faded away.

Deciding that sleep was his best option, Harry turned off the light and headed downstairs. He threw the cushions off the couch and then laid down. He wished he thought to bring his earphones down when he was grabbing some of this things, but it was too late now and there was no way in hell he was going back up to that room tonight.

“Harry?”

He groaned. “Ugh, what?”

“C’mon, you can’t sleep down here.”

Harry opened his eyes. “I said it was fine. Just leave me alone.”

Louis frowned. “I-I’m sorry for what I said earlier, okay? It shouldn’t have been the first thing I said and I was just hurt tha—”

“You were hurt?” Harry cut him off. “Wow, okay. Now really leave me alone.” He turned his body, so he was facing away from Louis. “Leaving me alone includes leaving the room.”

“Harry, can you just talk to me, please?” Louis begged. “I know I fucked up. C’mon, you’re my best friend.”

Harry turned around and sat up. “Louis, we haven’t spoken in over two years. That’s not what best friends do. You made it clear that our friendship didn’t mean anything anymore when you stopped talking to me.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Louis admitted. “It was never my attention to not have you in my life. I didn’t realize what was happening. I was an idiot and I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”

“That doesn’t change anything, Louis.” He stood up and he was angry. “God, you don’t even know how humiliated I felt when I tried to tell you and you were too busy with your boyfriend. I was so humiliated that I couldn’t bear to show my face for our reunion to have you ignore me or,” Harry laughed humorlessly, “even worse, pretend that everything was okay. I couldn’t do it, alright? And there. We talked. Can you leave me alone now?”

Louis stood right in front of Harry and saw that his green eyes were glistening with tears. “Harry,” he said, voice soft. “What do I have to do to show you how sorry I am? What do I have to do for you to forgive me?”

Harry let out a long breath. “I don’t think I can.”

“But do you want to?”

“I don’t . . . I don’t know.” Harry sighed. He ran his hands over his face. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. He was drained and this conversation wasn’t helping. Part of him was glad that Louis knew he messed up and wanted his forgiveness. The other part of him wasn’t sure if he could forgive him because he feared that Louis would just forget about him again. It sucked horribly the first time and he didn’t think his heart could take it if history repeated itself. And then Louis did the unthinkable.

“I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see,” Louis sang.

Harry shook his head. “Louis, don’t.”

“Painted faces fill the places I can’t reach,” he continued. “You know that I could use somebody.”

“I hate you so much right now.” He couldn’t believe Louis was singing their song. It was the first piece of information they found out about each other that made them instantly get along. _Use Somebody_ was their favorite song and Louis was using it to ask for forgiveness.

“You know that I could use somebody.” Louis paused, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry bit his lip. It felt like half of his brain was screaming at him not to give in and to stay made and the other half was screaming at him to accept the apology and move forward. And perhaps if he wasn’t so tired, he would have weighed his options more, but all he knew was that he didn’t want this hanging over their heads all weekend and that he really just wanted to go to sleep. He hoped in that moment that he wouldn’t regret this. He hoped in that moment that this was a new beginning. He hoped in that moment that everything would suck a whole lot less.

“Someone like you,” Harry sang back. “And all you know, and how you speak.”

Louis’ face instantly lit up, smile and all. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

There was a moment of hesitation, but it didn’t last long before Harry pulled Louis into a hug. “Don’t forget about me again,” he whispered into Louis’ shoulder.

“I’d be a fool to repeat past mistakes,” Louis promised. “Now can we please go to bed? My legs are about to give out.”

Harry chuckled. “You’re preaching to the choir, my friend.”

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

FRIDAY

Harry and Niall were sharing the stove, bickering over who made a better omelet. The rest of the group sat back with a cup of coffee or glass of orange juice, and shook their heads at their bickering. Val made a comment of how she was glad the girls weren’t expected to cook because fuck gender roles. Caroline, Wendy and Anna agreed while Zayn and Liam knew better than to expect anything of the sort. Besides, they were the hosts of this event and their friends were their guests. The goal was to have everyone relax, but there was no harm in having Harry and Niall have an omelet war.

While everyone was trying to figure out if they were Team Harry or Team Niall, Louis finally made an appearance. He was the last one to head downstairs that morning. His hair was a mess and he was dragging his feet, but that didn’t stop him from walking right up to Harry and brushing the tips of his fingers against Harry’s back.

Everyone’s brow instantly shot up because as far as they knew, the two of them still weren’t getting along. And because they were all thinking the same thing, Wendy said something.

“Morning, Louis,” she greeted. “You and Harry friends again?”

The two in question exchanged a look. Harry shrugged and went back to whisking his eggs. Louis’ mouth twitched into a smile and replied, “Something like that.”

“Oh!” Anna snapped her fingers. “I thought it was late and I was going crazy, but you two fuckers were singing last night, weren’t you?”

“No!” Liam gasped. “I knew I heard something, too.”

Louis shook his head. “You lot are ridiculous. Harry and I are working things out, okay? We couldn’t let such an epic friendship like ours die, alright? No more questions other than when the hell is breakfast gonna be ready? I’m fucking starving.”

Harry nodded along to Louis. “What he said. Also, breakfast will be ready once Niall forfeits and accepts the fact that I make a better omelet.”

“Like fuck you do, Harry. Like fuck you do.” Niall poured the egg batter onto a pan and threw in a handful of diced tomatoes. “Just you wait and see.” He turned towards the group. “Can I get a hell yeah from Team Niall?”

“Hell yeah,” Zayn chimed back. He continued to smile despite the fact that no one else said anything.

“Guys, what the fuck?” Niall asked.

Liam shrugged. “Well, Louis’ obviously gonna go Team Harry and we all know better to go against Louis.”

Louis barked out a laugh. “Right you are, Liam.” He winked at Harry before grabbing a muffin off the table and hopping onto the counter since all of the chairs were taken.

“Ugh,” Niall groaned. “That’s not fair!”

“Uh, Niall?” Harry said.

“ _What_?”

“Your eggs are burning.”

Niall turned around. “Shit!” When he flipped his eggs over, he saw that they were charred. “Shit,” he repeated.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

After breakfast, the group changed into their swim suits, grabbed beach towels and sunscreen, and headed down to the beach. Of course, it only was a two-minute walk and of course, it was fucking beautiful.

Surprisingly, there weren’t too many people on the beach, which gave them the chance to spread out. Zayn and Val were the first ones to break off as they decided to take a walk and catch up. Louis, Liam, Caroline and Niall begin a game of Corn Hole with Anna keeping score. And Harry and Wendy laid down a couple of beach towels before sitting down to get some sun.

Harry was struggling with trying to put sunscreen on his back, so Wendy took one for the team and helped him. “Y’think Louis is jealous?” she asked as the rubbed in the sunscreen.

“Shut up, Wendy.”

“What?” Her voice was laced with faux-innocence. “He keeps looking over here.”

And Wendy was right, Louis was looking over at them. Harry was glad Louis took the questions that morning because he didn’t quite know what to say. Yes, they talked and yes, they were at a better place than they were 24 hours ago, but it would be silly to say they were on solid ground. They still had some things to talk about. They still had some things they needed to deal with.

It was Louis’ turn in Corn Hole, but he was too busy paying attention to Harry to realize it was his turn again. Harry stuck his tongue at him and Louis blinked as he was caught off guard with the gesture. He laughed before he turned his attention back to the game.

Apparently, none of them are all that great at Corn Hole considering the bean bags were flying everywhere, but they were still having fun. While he was waiting for his next turn, Niall noticed an abandoned Frisbee in the sand. He looked around, wondering if it belonged to anyone on the beach, but their group was out there for almost an hour and no one had been playing.

Shrugging off any worries of someone blaming him for stealing their Frisbee, Niall picked it and grinned. “Hey, Anna?”

“Your team is still losing, Niall,” she replied.

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Thanks for that.” He held up the Frisbee. “Wanna brush up on your Frisbee skills?”

She smiled. “Oh, hell yeah!” Anna was on the track and field team in high school and in university, so she didn’t hesitate to ditch Corn Hole and run a distance.

“Guys!” Liam called after them. “What about our game?”

“Let it go, Liam,” Caroline said. “We’ve lost them.” She turned towards Harry. “Yo, Harry! Get over here. We’re down a person.”

Wendy scoffed. “Out of the two of us, you chose Harry? I’m offended.”

“Hey!” Harry stood up. “I’m not that horrible.” He jogged over to his friends. “Whose team am I on? Care?”

Caroline and Liam exchanged a look. “Louis’,” they both said together.

Louis chuckled. “Alright, bring it in.”

Harry raised his brow. “You want a hug?”

“No, you goof.” Louis handed four red bean bags to Harry. “Line up and throw them into the hole.”

Harry took the items and stood in front of the wooden board. He squinted his eyes as he aimed, and the first bean bag he threw landed right in the hole. “Tadaaaaaa.”

Louis high-fived him. “Dream team!”

“One good shot doesn’t mean you two are gonna win,” Caroline pointed out.

“Yeah,” Liam agreed.

“Dream team,” Louis repeated. “Prepare to lose.”

Harry shook his head. “Be nice. It’s just a game.” The three of them gave him blank stares in response. “What?”

Caroline lined up on the opposite board. Her shot ended up on the border of the hole and she hoped her next one would shake the bean bag in. “Just a game,” she repeated. “Don’t act like you don’t have a competitive side, Styles. Must I remind you of the Penny Wars?”

“Please, don’t,” Liam begged. “Still a sore subject for me.”

“Why? Cause Harry smoked your arse?” Louis asked with a grin.

Wendy joined them at this point, taking Anna’s place as scorekeeper. “I think you guys need a refresh on what trash talk is because you obviously don’t know. Well, Tommo was getting somewhere, but the rest of you? Definitely need some help.”

Caroline threw a bean bag at her that Wendy just barely dodged. “How’s that for trash talk?”

“Just for that, the Dream Team, Harry and Louis are the clear winners of this game.” Wendy clapped her hands. “And now, if you don’t mind, I’m going inside.”

As she walked away, Harry and Louis high-fived again. Liam scratched the side of his head as he picked the directions up from the box and wondered if there was a better way to play. And Caroline just laughed.

This moment reminded Harry of old times and it made him finally believe that there was hope for his and Louis’ friendship. They would sand over any rough patches and move forward. If any two people could come back from what happened, it would be Harry and Louis. These were just the facts and Harry wasn’t questioning them.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

Another hour passed and everyone collectively agreed that they needed to get out of the sun for a while. However, they ended up around the pool instead of inside, and at least the area was shaded.

Val approached Liam innocently and asked, “Hey, do you have your phone on you?”

“No,” he answered, “why?”

“Oh, I dunno.” She stepped forward and pushed Liam into the pool. “Oh, whoops!”

As soon as Liam emerged from the water, he shot daggers at Val. “Wrong move, Val. Wrong move. Now you’re gonna be paranoid all weekend from when I’m gonna get you back.”

Val handed her phone to Zayn for safe keeping. “Uh oh.” She made a run for it before Liam got out of the pool to hopefully save herself.

Harry watched the entire scene with a smile on his face and Louis watched Harry with a smile on his face. Louis was about to say something to Harry, but Harry stood up and announced that he was going to make a margarita and if anyone else would like one.

Caroline stood up, too. “I think I’m going to make a snack. Anyone want anything?”

Both Harry and Caroline get a collective yes before they headed inside. Harry went straight for the bar while Caroline started opening multiple bowls of Easy Mac. Harry didn’t even finish mixing the pitcher before Caroline questioned him.

“So you and Louis seem better today.” Her voice was casual, but it was definitely looking for answers.

Harry shrugged. “Yeah. We, um . . . We talked last night.”

“And?” The pot of water started boiling, so Caroline started pouring pasta in.

“And we’re friends again.” Harry stirred the drink mixture.

Caroline turned around to face him. “As simple as that?”

“Almost as simple as that,” he answered honestly.

They were silent for the next few minutes. Harry got ice from the freezer and dropped a few cubes in each cup before he poured the drink. Caroline drained the water and mixed in the cheese. As she was stirring, she said, “You’re going to have to tell him.”

Harry froze. He closed his eyes a moment later and exhaled. “I know.”

When the duo returned to the pool, everyone was grateful to have a snack and a drink in their hands. Wendy had rejoined the group and already had a drink, but Harry still asked if she wanted a margarita. She politely declined, and went back to splashing Niall.

Harry noticed that Louis was texting someone, but he didn’t ask him about it. He just placed his drink by him before sitting down next to him.

Louis looked up once Harry sat down. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure.” Harry took a sip of his drink and studied Louis. Perhaps he didn’t catch it earlier, but his smile wasn’t quite reaching his eyes and his knee was bouncing like he was overthinking something. It was interesting how Harry could still pick up on little things when it came to Louis.

Niall made his way to the edge of the pool. “Mac ’n cheese, hell yes!”

Zayn squatted next to Niall and opened his mouth. Rolling his eyes, Niall fed him a spoonful. “Thanks, bebes.”

“Hey, I’m right over here,” Liam grumbled.

“Aw, is something getting jealous?” Wendy asked. “Wait,” she paused. “It’s just Niall. Nothing to get jealous over.”

“Hey!” Niall put down his bowl and swam over to Wendy. He took the drink out of her hand, chugged it down, and then dunked her head under the water. “I’m pretty damn wonderful and don’t you forget it.”

Anna chuckled. “I think the fact that he took her drink was the worst part of that.”

“Agreed,” Louis said.

Wendy flipped her hair out of her face once she emerged. “You little shit!”

Niall began backing up. “Wendy, let’s think about this before you do anything crazy.”

She stepped forward with every step Niall took back. “Let’s not.”

“How about we—” He cut himself off when his back hit the edge of the pool. “How about we be rational about this?” Wendy quirked her brow before squinting her eyes and laughing maliciously. “Oh, fuck.” Niall jumped out of the pool and ran in the same direction Val had gone earlier.

Wendy made it look like she was about to get out of the pool and follow him, but she actually just took his spot in the pool. She picked up his bowl and started eating his mac ‘n cheese. “Ah, revenge is sweet. Or shall I say cheesy?”

Harry snorted. “Good one!”

Zayn shook his head. “You would be the one to think that.”

“What? It was good!” Harry lifted his bowl. “Cheesy? Get it? Because it’s mac ‘n cheese?”

Caroline patted Harry’s head. “Yes, Harry, we get it.”

He smiled happily and ate another spoonful of his cheesy deliciousness.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

With a few hours to kill before dinner, the group finally headed inside where they found Val and Niall avoiding Liam and Wend. Every began to break off to relax in different ways. Liam, Zayn, Caroline, Anna and Val started a 1000-piece puzzle in the living room. Niall went upstairs to take a nap while Wendy went straight for a shower. Harry was debating joining in on the puzzle when he noticed how Louis quietly retreated from the group. He followed up him the stairs to check on Louis.

Just as Louis closed the door to the bedroom they were sharing, Harry opened the door and walked in. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah.” Louis slumped down onto the bed. “I just—I feel so guilty, y’know? Like, what if I just picked up my phone? Everything would be so much different.” Every year, Louis tended to drown himself in guilt during their reunion weekend. He tried to do in solitude, so he wouldn’t bring anyone else down, but Harry caught him this year.

Harry sat next to him. “You don’t know that.”

“I do.” He ran his hands over his face. “God, I’ve been such a shit person for so many years. Hell, it took me forever to realize that I didn’t have you in my life and you’re my best mate.”

“You’re not a shit person and again, you don’t know that,” Harry assured him. “We’ve all made mistakes and done things we’ve regretted.”

Louis shook his head. “It’s not what I did, it’s what I didn’t do.” He sighed. “I should’ve picked up.”

“Louis, look, I know you’ve always thought this was your fault, but it’s not,” Harry told him. “There’s no way of knowing that if you picked up your phone that Fiona would still be here.” He pulled Louis into a hug and squeezed him tight. “It is not your fault, okay?”

He felt Louis rest his chin on his shoulder, and they stayed like that for a while. Harry couldn’t imagine what kind of guilt Louis kept with him. All nine of them felt helpless and angry and sad when they got the news, but Louis took it the hardest. And it was obvious that he was still taking it just as hard.

It happened right in their last week of university. Finals were coming to a close and everyone was focused on moving out of the building, graduating university, and looking forward to the summer. Louis had spent the day packing up his room, stopping every now and then to reminisce over the memories of the year. He called it a night around midnight, kicked off his shorts, and went straight to sleep.

A few hours later, he was woken abruptly by someone banging on his door. It took him a moment, but his RA instincts kicked in and he quickly went to open the door, wondering if one his residents were in need or if the building was on fire. He opened his door and found Harry and Liam standing there. Harry was crying and Liam had a solemn look on his face.

“What’s going on?” Louis asked.

“Fiona,” Harry began, but he couldn’t finish. His mouth quivered and he closed his eyes and shook his head. Tears kept falling and Louis grew more and more concerned.

“What about Fiona?” Louis knew he wasn’t going to get an answer out of Harry at the moment, so he turned towards Liam. “Li?”

Liam took a breath and stepped forward, so they were inside Louis’ suite. He told Louis to sit down on the couch before he broke the news. Fiona tended to get migraines when she was stressed out. Between finals and moving out and everything else that had to be done before graduation, she had one of the worst migraines she ever experienced. She ran out of her prescription and decided to grab some extra strength over-the-counter medicine from the grocery store.

It was late and she never liked driving at night and she had a killer headache, but that didn’t stop her from going. She needed this headache to go away, so she could power through the rest of her week. She needed this headache to go away, so she could actually sleep and try again tomorrow.

“Some fucker ran a red light and hit her straight on,” Liam said. “They said she died from the impact.”

“No.” Louis stood up. “Shut up, Liam.” He started walking towards his bedroom.

Harry wiped his eyes. “Lou, where are you going?”

“Fiona hated driving at night,” he replied. “She knew she could call me. I would’ve driven her.” And he would have. Louis was always quick to help others, especially his fellow resident assistants, his residents, his friends and his family. Fiona was his Co and he told her she could always call him.

Louis threw his duvet off his bed in search of his phone. But it wasn’t there. It wasn’t under his pillow or on his night stand. _She would’ve called me_ , he told himself as he started looking through the pile of clothes he didn’t pack yet. Then he remembered his phone was in the pocket of his shorts.

He leaped over his bed to the other side of the room and picked up the shorts. He pulled his phone out and his heart dropped to his stomach. He had a missed call and a text message from Fiona.

**_From: Fi-CO-na_ **

_Hey, if youre still awake, can you drive me to the store? I need migraine meds…_

The message and call came in about an hour after Louis fell asleep. From getting late night duty calls, Louis easily woke up if his phone rang or vibrated when it was under his pillow. But Louis forgot to take his phone out of his pocket, so he never heard his phone when Fiona called.

In anger, Louis threw his phone at the wall. Harry and Liam came running in, and Louis broke down in that moment. He was the Senior Resident Assistant. He was Fiona’s Co. He was Fiona’s friend. He should have picked up. He should have driven her.

The only thing Louis said for the rest of the night was, “I should’ve picked up.”

It didn’t feel right to end the year without Fiona and it certainly didn’t feel right graduating without her. So Anna came up with the idea of spending a weekend in honor of Fiona. Liam offered his family’s beach house because Fiona loved going to the beach. Harry suggested cooking Fiona’s favorite dish of spaghetti and meatballs.

Slowly, they all figured out their own way to honor Fiona and together, the beach house reunion was born. They agreed to come here every year in a way to stay in contact and in a way to remember Fiona. And every year, Louis wondered what would’ve happened if he picked up his phone.

“It’s not your fault,” Harry repeated.

“Still feels like it is, though.” Louis sighed.

Harry moved them until their backs hit the headboard. He let Louis curl up on his side, and he soothed Louis by stroking his hair. Apparently, the soothing worked because Louis fell asleep and Harry just sat back, thinking about when he was told that Fiona was killed in a car accident. He immediately broke into tears and he couldn’t believe she was gone. He had spent the year with her and they had so many RA adventures that it was hard for him to grasp that someone who was so present was gone.

Wendy was the first one to find out that night being the RA on Duty. She broke the news to Niall who broke it to Liam who broke it to Harry and Zayn. Then, Zayn went to go tell Val and Anna. Harry told Caroline before he and Liam went up to the fifth floor to tell Louis. That week had felt completely unreal. It wasn’t fair that Fiona didn’t get to graduate with them and that she didn’t get to attend graduate school in the Fall.

This loss was heartbreakingly tragic, and the fact that Louis blamed himself made it even sadder. Harry had a feeling that Louis judged himself harshly for not answering Fiona’s call, that he defined himself for that one thing he didn’t do, that he believed himself to be the worst person ever. Harry wanted Louis to see himself as Harry saw him. To Harry, Louis was as bright as the sun and he knew that Louis tended to put other people before himself. To Harry, Louis was the go-to person and he knew that Louis loved helping people. To Harry, Louis was—shit, Louis was the person Harry was in love with.

At the realization, Harry nearly sat up, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to disturb Louis as he napped. And that right there made him take a deep breath.

The first time Harry realized he had non-platonic feelings towards Louis, it hit him like a bucket of ice water was dropped on his head. He realized those feelings were always there, but he was just too dumb to grasp it sooner. And now he realized he was still in love with Louis, despite everything. All those feelings he had were swimming in chest like they never left, and he could feel his heart pounding alongside those feelings.

Harry knew he was a fool. It made him feel like shit when Louis stopped talking to him. He thought Louis meant more to him than he did to Louis, and that entirely sucked. He wondered if Louis knew about his feelings and as soon as he found an out, he took it and never looked back. He used to think that he and Louis were doomed as friends and if they were doomed as friends, then they surely were doomed as lovers. He used to think that, but after the past day, he didn’t think so anymore.

Now, he had hope for their friendship. As for anything more than that, Harry had no idea. And he didn’t think this weekend was appropriate to bring up his feelings. There were a lot of things he needed to tell Louis and the others, but he didn’t want any part of this weekend to be about him. It was about Fiona and how great of a person she was and how they all missed her terribly. Anything else would have to wait.

With a knock on the door, Liam peeked his head in the room. He raised his brow at the position Harry and Louis were in. “Alright?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“Checking in, mostly,” Liam answered. “And I was gonna ask if you wanted to make the spaghetti tonight, but I um . . . I think we should grill out instead.”

“I can still make it.” Harry glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was just spaghetti, so it shouldn’t take him all that long.

Liam shook his head. “Nah, don’t worry about it tonight. Don’t wanna disturb—” He gestured towards Harry and Louis. “—this. Spaghetti tomorrow, though. Alright?”

“Yeah.” Harry smiled. “Thanks.”

“Cool. Dinner’ll be in about a half hour. I’ll call out,” he said before stepping back and leaving the room.

As soon as the door was closed, Harry let out a breath he wasn’t sure why he was holding. This wasn’t the first time Louis fell asleep curled up by Harry’s side. They were always very physical people and this was nothing new. But that look Liam gave him—it almost felt like Liam _knew_ and that made Harry anxious. Harry hadn’t quite grasped all of his feelings yet and he wasn’t sure what to do with them, but he knew he couldn’t squash them.

He gave Louis another fifteen minutes before he gently shook him awake. “Lou, hey. It’s almost dinner time.”

Louis grunted and curled more into Harry. “No.”

“C’mon. We should head downstairs before someone thinks one of us killed the other one.”

“I’m too pretty to die,” Louis mumbled out without opening his eyes.

Harry chuckled. “Almost positive that’s not how that works.” He moved Louis’ fringe out of his face. “Come on, Lou. There’s food downstairs. And alcohol.” Louis made no motion to move, so Harry had no choice but to detach himself from Louis and stand up.

Louis whimpered from the sudden loss of heat from Harry’s body. “No, come back.”

Harry tried not to hold those words too close to his heart. It was just the sleep talking, and he couldn’t let himself think of it any more than that.

From downstairs, Zayn called them down. “Yo! Dinnertime!”

“Now we’re being summoned.” Harry stretched his arms over his head, realizing he was sitting for far too long. As soon as he heard his bones crack, he relaxed. Louis had barely moved, so Harry took it as a loss. “I’m heading down, but I can’t guarantee there’ll be a burger saved for you.” Louis didn’t respond, so Harry headed downstairs without him.

Liam was on the patio, flipping the burgers on the grill. Zayn was laying out the lettuce, tomato slices, onions and everything else that could go on a burger on one of the tables. Val and Niall were at the bar, making drinks for everyone while Anna, Wendy and Caroline chatted about wedding stuff. Harry grabbed a pint from the fridge before he joined everyone on the patio.

Caroline stood from her seat and went to go sit next to Harry on the two-seater. “What’ve you been doing for the past couple of hours?”

He shrugged. “Was talking to Louis. Fell asleep.” He took a sip of his pint and shrugged again.

“Talking about what?”

Harry knew what she was asking. “I told him part of it last night,” he said quietly. “But not about last year. We um—He still feels guilty about Fiona.”

She nodded in understanding. “I take it you tried to convince him for the billionth time that it wasn’t his fault.”

“Of course.” He sighed. “I wish I could do more to help him understand that he shouldn’t feel guilty. No one blames him.”

“You already are,” she assures him. “Where is he, anyways?”

He chuckled. “I tried to wake him up to go downstairs, but he wouldn’t budge. Some things never change,” he said, remembering how hard it was to wake Louis up sometimes.

“Might wanna take that back,” Caroline said before she got up and went back to her original seat.

Harry didn’t even turn his head completely before Louis plopped down next to Harry and leaned his head on his shoulder. He took the pint out of Harry’s hand and took a sip. “You left me.”

“I would never.” If those three words sounded like a promise, then neither of them said anything about it.

Liam began placing burgers on plates. “When you’re ready, come and get it!”

“Na nana na!” everyone chimed back.

He laughed. “Aw, c’mon guys. That song is _so_ 2013!”

“And so is your haircut,” Louis shot back.

“Oooooh,” Wendy said. “Louis awakes with a sick burn!”

Niall high-fived her. “And now he goes in for the kill!”

Louis rolled his eyes. “You lot are too much.” And then to Harry, he asked, “Can you grab me a plate, please?”

Now it was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. “You have legs.”

“Denied!” Anna shouted as she passed the two of them to get her own plate. Val and Caroline chuckled as they followed suit.

Slowly, Harry stood up. He walked over to Liam and picked up two plates. He added the toppings and when he got back to the two-seater, he handed one of the plates to Louis. “Only because you said please,” he justified out loud. Internally, he may have added he got him a plate because he loved Louis.

Louis smiled. “You are the best.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Harry cupped his hand around his ear. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t even want to get up from your nap. If it weren’t for me, you would’ve woken up in the middle of the night, starving.”

He knocked Harry’s hand away from his ear. “Don’t make me take it back.”

“Just eat your burger, Louis.” His words as well as the look on his face were laced with fondness. If any of their friends glanced over at them, they would see it clearly and surely someone would call them out on it. Or perhaps they wouldn’t considering in only twenty four hours, it almost felt like everything was back to normal. Perhaps the calmness Harry felt while sitting next to Louis had spread to the rest of the group and everyone was content.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

SATURDAY

When Harry woke up the next morning, he couldn’t help but smile into the pillow. His back was to Louis’ front with Louis’ arm around his middle. He could feel Louis’ breath on the back of his neck, and he never wanted to move.

He let himself pretend that this was how things always were. He let himself pretend that this was a daily occurrence. He let himself pretend that he got to wake up to Louis every day.

Harry snuggled into the embrace and closed his eyes. He had no idea what time it was and he wondered if anyone else was awake in the house. He hoped there was still time left before they had to get up and get on with their day because there was no place else that Harry wanted to be.

Of course, he probably jinxed himself for thinking such things because just a moment later, Niall came running into the room and jumped on the bed. Louis’ eyes sprang open and he jumped awake, managing to knock his head against Harry’s.

“Ow, what the fuck?” Louis exclaimed, rubbing the point of collision. He didn’t appreciate being scared to death while sleeping.

Niall sat on them and laughed. “That was priceless.”

Louis sat up and pushed him off the bed. “No, priceless will be when I finally murder your pale Irish arse.”

Harry pouted. “Seriously, Niall, what was that for?” He didn’t appreciate his blissful moment being ruined.

Niall stood up like he didn’t just fall off the bed. “Everyone’s just about done with breakfast and we’re supposed to go into town to the movies. Remember?” Harry and Louis exchanged a look and Niall rolled his eyes. “Of course you fuckers don’t.” Then he eyed them suspiciously after the words left his mouth. “You two are wearing pants under there, right?”

Harry threw his pillow at Niall. “Get out!”

“So you’re not!” Niall clapped his hands. “Wendy owes me money.”

Now Louis threw his pillow at Niall. “Niall, I swear to God, get out.”

“Oh, this is too good!” As soon as Niall left the room, he yelled out Wendy’s name. And of course in his glee, he didn’t close the door on his way out.

Louis laid back down. “Ugh, why doesn’t anyone let me sleep here?”

“What bet do you think Niall made with Wendy?” Harry asked. He didn’t mean to voice the question out loud, but he was curious. When it came to his feelings for Louis, his anxiety was off the charts just thinking that one of his friends knew the truth.

“Fuck if I know,” Louis grumbled. He closed his eyes and tried to find a position where he was comfortable. Yawning, he pulled the sheets closer to his body despite no longer having a pillow.

Harry just looked at him with wide eyes. Perhaps Louis was too tired to actually think about it. Perhaps Harry was moments away from over exaggerating. Perhaps no one knew anything and Harry was just crazy. Yeah, he was going to go with that last one.

As tempting as it was to go back to sleep with Louis at his side, he knew he couldn’t. He needed to figure some things out. He needed to make sure he wasn’t too obvious. He needed to act like the twenty-seven-year-old he was and not a teenager.

As soon as he stepped out of the room, he ran into Caroline. She smirked and said, “So Niall just told me how cozy you and Louis looked. Have anything to add?”

His cheeks instantly burned. “Oh god, he didn’t tell everyone, did he?”

Her face lit up. “Harry, spill! I feel like I’m missing something even though we’ve all been in the same house.”

“There’s nothing to spill!”

“Bullshit.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “There’s something going on and you know it.”

“I—” Harry didn’t actually know what to say. The past day seemed like a blur now and he’s not sure how he ended up where he was with Louis. “Nothing is going on, I promise. We just—we’re just friends again, okay? Like we picked up where we left off.”

She shook her head. “There’s so much more than that. Look,” she let her arms drop, “I’m not gonna push you, but I am going to give you your daily reminder that you need to tell him. If this goes anywhere and even if it doesn’t, he’s still one of your best friends and he should know. I can’t tell you when to tell him, but I can tell you that you should, eventually.”

“Caroline,” he groaned, “but I don’t know how!”

“Probably alongside when you tell him how you really feel.”

He gasped. “You think I should tell them together?”

She shrugged. “Two big blows should level it out, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

Before she could respond, Val was at the foot of the stairs and called up. “Hey, we going to the movies or nah?”

“Fuck yeah we are!” Caroline called down. “Just getting these two knuckleheads up and dressed.” And quieter, to Harry, she said, “Go get ready. Go get Louis. Everything will come out and you won’t have to worry about it anymore. But for now, I’m going to drop it mostly because you look like you’re about to pass out.”

Harry brought his pointer finger and his thumb together. “Only a little bit.”

Caroline gave him a push towards his room. “Get ready. We’re leaving in 15 minutes.”

Taking a deep breath, Harry entered the room. He found Louis pulling a shirt over his head, which made his quirk his brow. “I thought you would’ve gone back to sleep by now.”

“Nah.” Louis sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. “I was about to, but then I remembered we’re going to see the new Captain America movie and Chris Evans’ arse is fantastic.”

Harry chuckled. “So that’s how to get you up. If only I knew that in uni.”

Louis stood and smiled. “Can’t give it all away from the beginning, now can we?”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? The conversation Harry had with Caroline was fresh on his mind and he was starting to feel like everyone was in on a joke except for him.

“You should get dressed,” Louis continued. “I’m sure no one will hesitate to leave us.” He patted Harry’s shoulder as he left to the room to go to the bathroom.

Harry stood there for another minute before he started moving. He was trying to convince himself that he was on the brink of a freak out for no reason. Their friends used to tease them all the time, so it was nothing new. Their friendship was an odd one, but this was how they were always to each other. There was no reason for Harry to over rationalize and think too much about it. He just forgot what it was like to be Louis’ friend, since they lost touch previously. He was out of practice and that was okay. It was sort of like how people never forget how to ride a bike.

Harry nodded to himself like he just figured everything out. He shook off any worries or anxieties and finally let himself relax. He reminded himself that he was in the middle of a reunion weekend with some of his best friends. This annual weekend was about catching up, hanging out, and honoring Fiona.

Quickly, Harry put on a t-shirt and shorts. Louis left the bathroom door open as he brushed his teeth, so Harry easily walked in, grabbed his own toothbrush, and joined Louis. They may have caught each other smiling at their reflection, but neither of them said anything. Instead, they carried on with their morning and joined the rest of the group downstairs.

At the movie theater, Harry had every intention to sit next to Louis, but he somehow ended up between Liam and Zayn. He didn’t realize this was the seating arrangement until after Liam took at seat next to him with a big bag of popcorn. Harry leaned forward and saw that Louis was sitting next to Niall and Anna at the very end of the row.

“Popcorn?” Liam offered.

Before Harry could respond, Zayn reached over Harry and grabbed a handful of popcorn. “Thanks, babes.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “If you two are gonna do that the whole movie, then please switch seats with me.”

Liam and Zayn exchanged a look. “We’ll behave,” Liam promised.

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed. “We’re actually glad we got you here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry wondered if he walked into a trap. He should’ve known that Liam and Zayn were up to something. They were always up to something.

Liam shifted the popcorn on his lap. “We just wanted to check in. Y’know, see how things are going.” He paused for a moment and when he saw that Harry still looked lost, he continued. “With Louis.”

Harry rolled his eyes for the second time. “We’re fine.”

“Yeah, but we’re not kids anymore, Harry,” Zayn said. “We’re just a few years from thirty and we just—” He sighed. “We’re just worried for you.”

“What?” Harry sat up a bit. “What’s there to be worried about?” Surely they didn’t know about what happened last year, right? Or did they find out somehow?

“Worried that you’re holding off for something when you shouldn’t be,” Zayn answered.

“Are you two saying I’m waiting for Louis?”

Liam nodded. “You haven’t exactly dated anyone.”

Harry scoffed. His friends were being ridiculous. “Yes, I have.”

“Random hook-ups don’t count,” Liam pointed out.

“Are you judging me?” Harry started tapping his foot. He didn’t like this conversation at all. Sure, he may not have had a long-term relationship, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t dated anyone. He had, but they never worked out. Harry suspected it was because he could never give another person his all. Harry suspected it was because he only wanted to give Louis his all.

Zayn shook his head. “No, no. We’re not. Just be careful, alright? We love you and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

Harry frowned. “Why would I get hurt? Y’know what? Never mind.” He got up and walked out to the lobby. He needed to think.

Part of him wondered what exactly Liam and Zayn knew. Harry was never subtle, so they probably knew he had feelings for Louis back in university. But did they know why Harry and Louis stopped talking? Did they know what stopped Harry from attending their reunions?

Whatever they knew, they were wrong. Harry wasn’t waiting for Louis. Sure, he’d love if they were more than friends, but he wasn’t going to spill his feelings while Louis was dating Jonathan. That would be completely unfair to Louis and even Jonathan. The two of them had to have been dating for over three years by then and as much as it sucked, Harry didn’t want to interfere.

He still feared that he and Louis might have another falling out once this weekend was over. If that happened, Harry wouldn’t try again. He wouldn’t let Louis resume his spot of Harry’s best mate. He wouldn’t let himself follow feelings that wouldn’t get him anywhere.

Maybe Liam and Zayn were right. Maybe they knew that Harry was vulnerable when it came to Louis. Maybe they knew that Harry had some things to work out. And maybe they knew something that Harry didn’t.

“Harry?”

He turned around and saw Louis walking towards him. “Hey.”

Once Louis reached him, he looked up with Harry with a hint of concern in his eyes. “Is everything alright? You’ve been gone for a while.”

“Uh, yeah.” Harry shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “I just needed some air.”

“Are you sure?”

This right here was what made Harry think that he and Louis would be okay from now until forever. He knew there had to be some higher force that brought the two of them together and no one could deny that their friendship was one of a kind. It shouldn’t have been so easy to fall back to how things were, but it was and Harry shook Liam and Zayn’s worry out of his head. He was thinking too much.

Harry nodded. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Louis smiled as he extended his hand towards Harry. “Let’s go back, shall we?”

He took Louis’ hand. “We shall.”

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

“Louis, you have a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

Zayn closed the door behind him as he walked in the room. Louis eyed him skeptically because why would he need to close the door?

Zayn cleared his throat. “I’m not completely sure how to say this, so I’m just gonna start talking. Please don’t say anything until I’m done, alright?”

“Okay,” Louis replied slowly. He was even more skeptical now.

“These past few years have been frustrating for all of us,” Zayn began. “I’m not gonna get into all of the details, but we’ve all been through some shit. Hell, we wouldn’t be here if we haven’t had gone through some shit. That being said, everything is different now. We’ve all grown and we can’t keep doing the same things.

“Do you remember what you told me after Fiona’s funeral?” Zayn asked and Louis nodded. “Then why haven’t you don’t anything?”

Louis didn’t have an answer to that question. He remembered telling Zayn how life was so short and how he didn’t want to wait for things anymore. He wanted to take control of his life and do what he wanted because he only had one life to live and he wanted to make the most of it. He remembered saying all of that, but he realized he didn’t do any of that as Zayn called him out on it.

“Look, I’m not here to bash your decisions or anything. I’m here to remind you that it’s okay to do things for yourself despite everything that’s happened. I’m here to remind you that Fiona’s death still isn’t your fault and I’m here to remind you that you’re avoiding the same thing you’ve always been.”

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but Zayn raised his hand to stop him. He wanted to defend himself. He wanted to tell Zayn he was wrong. He wanted to tell Zayn to shut up.

“I don’t know the complete story,” Zayn continued. “I only know bits and pieces, but what I can gather, you and Harry have been dancing around each other for years. Don’t pretend we didn’t see how excited you were to see him two years ago and how disappointed you were when he didn’t show up. Don’t pretend you haven’t tried to find out what he was up to by subtly asking any of us. Like I said, I don’t know everything, but it’s obvious that neither do you. Or Harry, for that fact.”

“Are you done now?” Louis asked.

Zayn shrugged. “I think that’s something only you can answer. You two are friends again, which is great. But don’t fuck it up again, alright?”

“I’m not planning on it,” Louis said. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at here, Z, so I’m not sure if I should thank you or not.”

“You can always thank me.” Zayn smirked. “I am always right.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “No, you’re not. You’re cryptic as fuck and don’t know how to get to the point.”

“On the contrary, I’m sure you know exactly what I meant with what I said.”

And Louis did. He told Zayn some things he didn’t mean to and Zayn being Zayn, he never forgot. Louis wasn’t a fan of confiding in people and he hated asking for help. He figured he shouldn’t burden his problems on anyone else, so he preferred to sulk and struggle in private. Of course, this didn’t always happen because one of his friends tended to interfere before he locked himself in a room.

Zayn reminded him of quite a few things, but most importantly, he reminded Louis that they’ve all made mistakes and that none of them should let those mistakes determine the rest of their lives. It was okay to move on and move forward. It was okay to get up and try again.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

Dinner was almost ready. The smell of garlic bread and red sauce was floating through the house and everyone was in anticipation for the meal.

“Can I help with anything?” Louis asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“I like how you wait to help until I’m almost done with everything,” Harry said in a light tone. He was actually glad he was able to cook dinner alone. It let him focus on what he was doing and not have to answer any more questions since it felt like his friends were interrogating him all day.

Louis grinned. “I would’ve been down sooner, but I fell asleep.”

Harry shook his head. “You take naps like a grandpa.”

“Oi, are you calling me old?”

“So what if I am?” Harry smirked. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

Louis walked over to him. “Maybe I’ll make you shut up.”

“How so?” Harry challenged. He stopped stirring the sauce and turned to face Louis. “What’s it gonna be?”

“Oh, I’ll tell ya what it’s gonna be.” Louis squared his shoulders and met Harry’s eyes. “I’ll tell ya right now.” There was very little space between the two of them. They were so close that Harry could see the green specs in Louis’ blue eyes. They were so close that Louis could feel Harry’s breath on his face. They were so close that with the slightest movement, they would be touching.

“I’m waiting.” Just then the timer on the oven went off. “Ah, saved by the bell.” Harry stepped away from Louis and pulled the garlic bread out of the oven. As he flipped the slices over, he looked over at Louis who was just staring at him. “Ready to tell me yet or are you still stalling?”

Louis snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you’re old.”

“ _Oi_!”

The two friends stared at each other for nearly a minute before they fell into laughter. The entire conversation made no sense and there obviously wasn’t a solution to their bantering. Well, perhaps there was a solution, but Harry didn’t want to dwell on that for too long. He had a dinner to prepare, after all.

“Dinner!” Harry called out and within seconds, everyone was piling into the kitchen.

There was a bit of commotion with everyone trying to pile their plates with spaghetti at the same time and fighting over who got an extra piece of garlic bread, but once they were all sitting, all was well.

“This is always the best part of the weekend,” Anna said.

Harry raised his brow. “Eating spaghetti?”

“Most definitely.”

Wendy, Niall, and Val volunteered to do the dishes once everyone cleared their plates. Harry got up to help, but he was told to sit down since he cooked everyone dinner. It was a kind gesture, but he felt bad for leaving the dirty pots and pans in the sink.

“Are you sure I can’t help?” he asked.

“You better not come anywhere near this kitchen,” Wendy yelled from the other room. “I won’t hesitate to cut you with one of these knives.”

Harry sat firmly in his seat. “Has she always been that violent?”

Caroline laughed. “Oh, yeah.”

Liam had stepped outside to make a call and when he returned, he said, “Hey guys, the sky’s clear tonight. Come see.”

Everyone grabbed their drinks and headed to the back patio. Harry immediately looked up and smiled. He was glad the clouds were gone.

“It’s beautiful, innit?” Louis asked from beside him.

“Absolutely,” Harry answered. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars.”

“Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you,” Louis sang.

Harry groaned. “You sing at the worst times.”

“Why’s that?”

“Cause you—cause you just do.” Harry turned his attention back to the sky and away from the _things_ he felt whenever Louis sang.

Caroline and Zayn download an app on their phones that highlighted the constellations and gave brief facts about each one. For the next hour, the nine of them geeked out over astronomy and somehow, they went from talking about Orion’s Belt to stories about themselves.

“Liam, Zayn, tell us the real story of how you two met and started dating,” Wendy suggested. “I never got the full story and I am prepared to barf at the cuteness overload.”

Liam chuckled. “I’m not sure how barfing from cuteness makes sense.”

“It does, trust me. Now spill. I want to know everything.” Wendy adjusted her posture in her seat and gave the couple in question her undivided attention.

Zayn and Liam made the same face and it seemed like they were saying “Where do we start?” with just a look.

“Um, well,” Zayn said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “We met in a World History course we took in our first year. Liam sat behind me and we, I dunno, we just started talking before class and a bit after. And then we started talking outside of class, like having study sessions or whatever.”

“And Zayn had the biggest crush on me,” Liam added, proudly.

“Oh, shut up. Don’t act like you didn’t have a huge crush on me, too.”

Liam shrugged. “If I didn’t, would I have stolen your notebook and kissed you in the middle of the British Literature section of the library?”

“Anyways,” Zayn continued. “We started meeting between classes to grab a quick bite to eat or to grab coffee. We just started hanging out more and more and my ‘huge crush’ kept growing.” He put air quotes around “huge crush” as he said it. “And then Liam crashed in my dorm room one night and I knew I was a goner.”

Niall smirked. “Did you do butt stuff?”

Wendy shoved Niall, nearly causing him to fall out of his chair. “Shut up, you’re ruining the story!”

Liam laughed. “No, we were just talking and I fell asleep. The next day, Zayn was acting all weird, so I found him in the library, stole his notebook, and planted one of him.”

“And of course, I had to go take a final exam, so I ran away from him and almost failed my test,” Zayn said. “But I didn’t and Liam was waiting for me outside of the classroom. He gave me this look and we just _knew_.”

“And the rest is history.” He leaned over and kissed Zayn. “Love you.”

Zayn smiled. “Love you, too.”

“Oh, my god, I’m gonna throw up,” Wendy said, but she was grinning.

Harry didn’t know Liam and Zayn before they became a packaged deal and it made him wonder how they were different when they didn’t know each other. What changed with them when they met and what changed when they started dating? What have they done to keep their relationship going for so many years?

This also made Harry think of how they were all weirdly connected to each other. Harry met Liam and Zayn their second year when all three of them were student assistants in the housing department. From there, they met Anna, who commuted to campus until her third year. Anna knew Val from a summer camp they were both counselors at. Niall and Louis were roommates and they both set out to become Resident Assistants where they met Caroline. Wendy became friends with Liam through Fiona, who had introduced them since all three of them lived on the same floor. Harry had also met Fiona the year before the rest of the group as she was his RA. And then they all applied to be Resident Assistants their last year where somehow, they ended up in the same building.

It was totally meant to be, if you asked Harry.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

Later on that night when everyone had retired to their rooms, Harry found Louis scrolling through photos on his phone.

“So much has changed, hasn’t it?” Louis questioned without looking up.

Harry sat next to him on the bed. “That’s how it always goes, right? We get older. Things change. We grow. At least, I hope we grow.”

This time Louis did look up. “Harry, you are a damn good person, I hope you know that. Like, I royally fucked up our friendship and yet you still give a damn about me and put up with my shit. I can’t believe I tried to blame you for not coming the last two years when it was my fault.” He sighed. “All of this is my fault.”

Harry shook his head. “It’s not all of your fault. Why I didn’t come last year—that had nothing to do with you. It was all me and I wanted to come, but I couldn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

All weekend, Caroline had reminded Harry that he needed to tell Louis and all weekend, Harry had been avoiding it. He didn’t know what to say or when to say it. But he was given a wide opportunity to come clean and he had to take it. It was now or never.

“Y’know how we are always asked what we want to do with our lives?” Harry asked. “Like as a kid, adults will ask us what we want to be when we grow up and in high school, we’ll get asked what we want to study at university. And then in university, we get asked what we want to do with our degrees. I’ve always been so clueless with what I wanted to do that I never had an answer for people. I figured that I’d know eventually, but then it felt like I’d never know.

“All I knew is that I wanted my life to go well so badly, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I worked wherever someone would hire me and I’ve just been hopping from one job to another because I never enjoyed what I was doing. I knew I didn’t want to be at dead-end job for the rest of my life. It wasn’t a way to live,” Harry explained.

“I ended up working in a call center in a customer service department, and I have never hated a job more. I started looking for another job, but I didn’t hear back from any of the places I applied to. I figured I’d be alright for the time being because as much as I hated it, it paid well enough. And eventually, I would find something better, right?” Harry laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “God, I was so wrong.”

Louis scrunched his brow. He knew Harry worked as an Administrative Assistant before their friendship went under a bus, but he didn’t know anything after that. Harry wasn’t an avid social media user, so there weren’t many updates for Louis to follow.

“What happened?” Louis asked.

“The piece of shit business went under, that’s what happened,” Harry answered. “I was laid off and I couldn’t find another job that paid enough to support myself. It was a domino effect—first the business went down, then my job, then I was kicked out of my flat. God, that was humiliating. I was twenty-five and I couldn’t support myself.”

Louis frowned. “Did you move back with your mum?”

Harry shook his head. “I thought about it, but it just made me feel even more miserable. Like, it felt like everyone had their lives figured out. People were getting married. They were buying houses. They were working the jobs they wanted. And I was at a loss for what to do and I felt like I was stuck at a dead end.” His eyes were glistening with tears as he thought about how hopeless he had felt. He had to look away from Louis as he told him this next part because he didn’t think he could ever unsee whatever look Louis would give him once he knew.

“I jumped that day,” he admitted. “I remember closing my eyes and letting myself believe I was flying. God, that moment? That moment, I didn’t worry about anything. I finally felt free.” Harry sniffled. “I let my body crash into the water and I let my body relax under the waves. I let my failures win.”

“Harry,” Louis said softly. He placed his hands over Harry’s, but Harry wouldn’t look at him.

Taking a deep breath, Harry continued on. “Someone saw me jump and dove in after me. I don’t even know their name, but they saved me. At first, I resented them for it especially when I was stuck in a hospital for a while. But then I realized that I didn’t want to die that day—I wanted help finding a path to something better. I learned that I didn’t have to be happy at all to be happy I’m alive.”

Louis placed his hand on Harry’s cheek and moved his head, so he could look at Harry’s face. He wiped away Harry’s tears with his free hand. “I—I’m so sorry,” he apologized. “I wish I was there for you.”

Harry leaned into Louis touch. “I’m not going to say it’s okay, because it’s not. But I am going to say I’m better now. Not completely, but a work in progress is better than jumping off a bridge.” Louis opened his mouth to respond, but Harry didn’t give him the chance to. He noticed the photo Louis had stopped on. “How’s Jonathan? I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about him once this weekend.”

Louis blinked at the sudden subject change. He followed Harry’s glance and sighed. “That’s um, that’s because we broke up. A while ago, actually.”

“Oh.” Harry had no idea. “I’m sorry. He totally didn’t know what he had.”

“No, Harry. I broke up with him,” Louis clarified. “I loved him, I did, but there was just something missing. I tried to ignore it, but it just wasn’t clicking and it wasn’t fair to him.”

“What wasn’t clicking?”

Louis closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he met Harry with an intense glare. “Please don’t hate me for doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“This.” Louis leaned in and placed his lips on Harry’s. “It’s you, Harry. It’s always been you.” He moved Harry’s hair out of his face. “Please say something. I know you just said a lot and god, this was bad timing, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry. I’m a shit person as always.” He stood up. “I’m sorry. Thank you for telling me and I’m so, so glad you’re better. And,” he groaned, “I am going to stop talking now.”

Harry still had not said anything and Louis felt like he just made a huge mistake. He was getting ready to retreat to the living room to crash on the couch, but then Harry started laughing.

“Harry?”

When he calmed down a little bit, he said, “I told you I tried to kill myself last year and you kissed me.” Saying this out loud just caused Harry to laugh even more. “What the fuck is my life?”

Louis wasn’t sure what to do. He could leave Harry alone. He could go sit with Harry. He could start laughing, too. “Harry?”

Harry stood up and walked over to Louis. “Y’know, I have never been happier to not have died last year.” If Harry could go back, he was sure he’d tell himself to not kill himself because he would’ve missed out on Louis kissing him.

“I’m happy you didn’t die either,” Louis agreed.

“Good because I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember.” And then he pulled Louis into a kiss. Harry might have felt free when he jumped, but it was nothing to how he felt in that moment. He was glad he finally told Louis the truth. He was glad Louis felt the same way. He was glad he could finally move forward.

“I’m obviously the world’s biggest idiot,” Louis concluded.

Harry nodded. “Most definitely.”

Louis joined their hands together. “Good or bad time to start singing _Use Somebody_?”

Harry kissed him again as his response.

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

SUNDAY

The group was quiet this morning. It was only a matter of hours before they loaded up their cars and went back to their lives. It wasn’t that they didn’t talk outside of this weekend. It was that they felt a huge sense of comfort and nostalgia for a few days every year, and they all hated to leave it.

“Shall we?” Liam asked, looking around the round table. Everyone was pretty much finished with their breakfast and from past experience, they knew they had to do this before the beach got crowded.

“Yes,” Wendy replied. “Where’s the bag?”

“By the door,” Zayn answered. He stood up and said, “We’ll get back and do the dishes, yeah?”

Niall scooted his chair back and nodded. “Yeah.”

Everyone started moving to get ready to go, but Louis sat still. Harry stayed back an extra moment and waited for the rest of the group to file out of the room.

He sat next to Louis. “Hey.”

Louis pushed his plate away from him. “Hey.”

“You know we can’t do this without you.”

Louis shook his head. “That’s not true. I didn’t think I was gonna make it this year, and you lot would’ve still carried on.”

Harry frowned. “Why wouldn’t you have made it?”

“It’s stupid.” Louis tried to shrug off the question and look away, but Harry wouldn’t let him.

“I doubt it.” He placed his hand over Louis’. “Tell me.”

Louis sighed. “I guess that’s fair since you told me everything.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Harry said honestly. And it wasn’t. He told Louis about what happened because it was something he needed to get off his chest to be able to finally move on with his life. Of course, the kiss from Louis was just an added bonus.

“I know, but it really is stupid,” Louis insists. “Like, y’know how I always wanted to be an actor and be in movies or whatever?” Harry nodded. “Well, I submitted a head shot to a casting agency for the hell of it, y’know? Just for fun. And to make it even stupider, part of me thought I even had a chance. Like one of the agents emailed me a few times and it was basically to cast me as an Extra in some movie. I thought this was the beginning of a stupid dream come true, but turns out, they didn’t need me and . . .” He shrugged. “Yeah. Told you it was stupid.”

Harry took a moment before he started speaking. “It’s not. You took a shot, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just because that didn’t work out, doesn’t mean nothing else will. Take it from me—after everything, I still believe things will work out eventually. I still believe that whatever didn’t work is because it wasn’t right for me.”

Realization washed over Louis’ face. “Is that what you thought about us? That it wasn’t right for you?”

The answer was yes. Harry eventually came to the conclusion that he and Louis wouldn’t be anything more than friends because it wasn’t right for him. However, that conclusion was proven wrong last night, but it still needed to be explored and analyzed. It needed be thought over and it needed to answer the question, “What happened now?”

Harry opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted by Caroline. She popped her head into the room and asked, “You guys coming or what?”

“We’ll finish this later,” Harry promised Louis. He knew there was lots floating around Louis’ head at the moment, and he didn’t want Louis to get the wrong impression. Not about him, anyways.

Louis nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

As they rejoined the group and walked with them to the beach, Harry had to stop himself from reaching out and intertwining his hand with Louis’. He didn’t feel comfortable with that action until they talked about what happened last night and that morning. He didn’t feel comfortable bringing it up because there was so much more to this weekend than his feelings for Louis.

The nine of them walked until their ankles were touching the water. Zayn passed the bag around while Liam began speaking.

“We do this every year and it never fails to amaze me how much you all mean to me and to each other,” he said. “We could’ve left Fiona’s memory just like we’ve left all of our uni memories. We could’ve hugged each other at graduation and never spoke to each other ever again. We could’ve let our friendships fade, but we didn’t.

“We do this every year and it is so nice to know that we did something good, that Fiona did something good. She was definitely one of a kind and I’m so glad I had the honor of knowing her. And I’m so glad she’s the reason why our friendship never faded.”

Val picked up from where Liam left off. “That year when we all worked together, it was filled with chaos. We all had to deal with 3 AM duty calls and writing incident reports and figuring out what we wanted to post-graduation. But despite how chaotic it was, we did it together and we made it through. I dunno about you guys, but I like to believe Fiona was the glue that kept us together that year. I mean, she certainly is the glue the keeps us together now.”

“She was and she is,” Niall agreed. “We couldn’t have done a lot of things without her. She was always so willing to help us and she deserved so much more.”

Wendy smiled as she thought back to her favorite memory of Fiona. “I remember at the awards banquet we had and how surprised Fiona was when she won RA Of The Year. I was sitting next to her when they called her name and she was genuinely shocked that it took her at least ten seconds to respond.”

Anna chuckled. “That’s what I loved about her—how genuine she was.”

“Sometimes, I feel like I was lucky enough to have had Fiona as my RA and then my colleague and friend,” Harry said. “She’s the one who inspired me to apply to the job posting and helped me with the entire process. I honestly don’t think I would’ve gotten the job if she didn’t insist on being my reference.”

“She didn’t give up on people,” Caroline added. “She always wanted to best for everyone and did whatever she could to help them get there. I’m sure she’s still doing great things wherever she is.”

The bag finally came back to Zayn and he held on to it, so it would drift into the ocean. “I wonder what’d she think of this. Like, I’m almost positive she’d be happy we were still friends, but I wonder how she would react to us having an entire weekend for her.”

“She’d be modest about it,” Louis answered. “She’d tell us we didn’t need to do this for her. She wouldn’t accept it because I don’t think she ever understood the impact she had on us, on everyone.” He smiled a bit, thinking about how Fiona would always shrug off compliments and how he always tried to convince her she was a wonderful human being. “She was a silent achiever and she wouldn’t know what to do with this. But she would still be so thankful because that’s who she was. Genuine, kind, helpful, and so much more. She was brave and I couldn’t have asked for a better Co to have my back.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. This was the part of the weekend where they all said a few words about Fiona. It was mostly favorite memories or whatever they were thinking. It was their way of letting each other, and to Fiona if she could hear them, that they were will thinking about her and that they loved and missed her. It was their way of letting Fiona rest peacefully while never forgetting about her. And in remembrance, they each released a handful of rose petals into the water.

“One,” Liam began.

Anna dropped her handful. “Two.”

“Three.” Zayn and Val released theirs at the same time. “Four.”

Harry threw his petals a bit father and bit spread out. “Five.”

“Six,” Caroline continued.

“Seven.” Niall unclenched his fist and let the petals fall into the water.

Wendy placed the petals flat on her palm and blew them off. “Eight.”

Louis took a breath before opening his left hand. “Nine,” he said. And then he opened his right hand and released another handful of petals. “And that makes ten.”

 

#  **☼ ☼ ☼**

 

Harry was packing his suitcase when Louis came in the room and shut the door. He continued folding his clothes, but still managed to ask, “Is this when you take advantage of me?”

“Only with your consent, of course,” Louis replied.

“Good answer.” Harry glanced over and saw that Louis’ suitcase was already zipped and ready to go. He shoved the last few items into his own suitcase and tried to zip it, but it kept getting stuck. “Oh, come on.”

Louis chuckled. “Here. Let me help you.” He walked over to the bed and bumped his hip against Harry to get him to move. He opened the suitcase and rearranged the top items before trying to pull the zipper. Whatever he did worked and he smiled triumphantly.

“I hope you know this means I will be making you pack my suitcases for me from now on,” Harry stated.

“From now on? Are we going on a trip?”

Harry looked away and shrugged. “Isn’t that what couples do? Go on holidays together?”

Louis made a sound of surprise. “We’re a couple?”

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be.” He wanted this for years and he let himself believe he was better off because he thought Louis didn’t feel the same. He tried to bury his feelings and move on. He tried to forget it all, but then Louis kissed him and it all came back. His feelings never went anywhere and they slowly creeped back in throughout the weekend and there wasn’t a damn thing Harry could do about that.

“Harry.”

He finally looked at Louis. “If you’re in this, then I am, too,” Harry admitted. “I want to try and if it works out, great. And if it doesn’t and my heart breaks, then at least I’ll finally know.”

Louis shook his head. “I’m not going to break my heart.”

Harry smiled sadly. “You already have.”

“I’m not going to break your heart,” he insisted. “I was shit and I was stupid. My head was in my arse and I’m not going to break your heart. Not again. Not ever.”

“Please don’t make promises you can’t keep, Lou. None of know what can happen.”

“You’re right,” Louis said. “But I’m willing to try and find out.”

Harry let Louis pull him into a kiss. This was the beginning of the next thing. Harry remembered his therapist telling him that the life worked in weird ways and there was no telling when something would finally work out or end or start or be better. She told him that he shouldn’t shy away from his failures and short comings because those very things were what helped him be the person he was today. They helped him realize what he wanted and what was best for him.

He was still working on himself to make sure he didn’t fall back into old habit and old mindsets. He was older. He knew more now. And most importantly, he didn’t want to die anymore. Harry was still figuring things out and that was okay. He stopped comparing his life to his friends and he finally believed that he was where he should be. It might not be perfect and it might need some tweaking, but he was there, he was alive, and he was going to make it.

 

☼ ☼ ☼

And suddenly, the weekend was over.

Everyone loaded their bags and suitcases into their respective cars. There were more hugs than anyone could count and a lot of “See you later’s.” This group of people never said goodbye because they would see each other again. It was a see you next time and it was a we should hang out again soon.

Caroline wiped her eyes. “God, I tell myself every year that I’m not going to cry, but then Zayn starts crying and I can’t help it.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” Zayn pouted and Liam wrapped his arm around his waist. “I just have a lot of feelings, okay? I love you guys.”

“Aw, we love you, too,” Wendy said, which sparked another round of hugs.

Once everyone was ready to go, Niall set a timer on his phone and placed it on top of his car. He gathered the group in front of the house and told them all to smile. Of course, not everyone was paying attention to how long the timer was, so only Liam and Anna were smiling at the camera. Zayn was helping Caroline fix her smudged eyeliner. Val was tying her shoe. Wendy was pointing a finger at Niall, who had his hands over his head in protection. Harry and Louis were distracted with staring at each other and didn’t even notice the flash go off. And it instantly became everyone’s favorite photo of the group.

“I’ll see you when we get back?” Louis asked. He carpooled with Anna, Val and Caroline and as much as he wanted to drive back into town with Harry, his car was at Anna’s house and Anna and Niall didn’t live anywhere near each other. It made more sense for him to go the way he came, but he wished it didn’t.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

They hug and if they hold on to each other a couple of extra moments, then so be it. They began to make their way to the different cars, but then Louis called Harry’s name. He turned around and Louis marched right up to him with determination in his eyes. Without a care about anything, Louis kissed Harry.

Bursts of cheers, whistles and laughs erupted and the new couple flicked off their friends. Liam and Zayn smiled. Niall told Wendy she owed him even more money. Val and Anna smirked. And Caroline demanded Harry to call him with all of the details later.

Harry didn’t know it yet, but his life was finally falling into place and he would be glad he was around to see it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first piece I've completed in about a year and a half, and I hope it wasn't too horrible. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this. If you want, come say hi to me on [tumblr](http://littlecutielouis.tumblr.com/). (Or if you were looking to [reblog](http://littlecutielouis.tumblr.com/post/147504360730/and-that-makes-ten-hl-liz-178k-read-ont) this fic)
> 
> And you are all lovely people and please remember that you don't have to be happy to be happy you're alive. xx


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